Things about London BBC Sherlock did not tell you:

1. It smells like fried rubbish. Like a chippy poured their grease into an open container only the container is London.

2. Foxes scream all night long and it sounds like murder. Eventually you stop going to the window to check. I think this is what they want.

3. No place in London is that white. Maybe inner city, but that place also eat souls so you know. makes sense.

4. Out of every stock stereotype you'll meet "Dave who once took K with someone off nevermind the buzzcock" is more likely than "Sebastian who likes loose leaf tea and browsing bookshops in a self knitted scarf".

5. No one will give up a chance to make a dick joke. Not even the queen. Especially not the queen.

6. Young English men are connected to the fae in that knowing their real name gives you unholy power over them. Therefore I assume Sherlock went by "Shaz" in his youth. Likewise you are likely to meet at least two baz's, a full score of Alex' and more Dave's that you thought men in the queendom.

7. Black cab drivers are tired men and women who are constantly balancing the energy to care VS the energy to deal with your shit.

8. No way could they have afforded that flat on a military pension and whatever consultant fee Sherlock pissed up that week. I paid 850 for a loft room in a house.

9. Pigeons. Everywhere. Even inside.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

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