Things about London BBC Sherlock did not tell you:

1. It smells like fried rubbish. Like a chippy poured their grease into an open container only the container is London.

2. Foxes scream all night long and it sounds like murder. Eventually you stop going to the window to check. I think this is what they want.

3. No place in London is that white. Maybe inner city, but that place also eat souls so you know. makes sense.

4. Out of every stock stereotype you'll meet "Dave who once took K with someone off nevermind the buzzcock" is more likely than "Sebastian who likes loose leaf tea and browsing bookshops in a self knitted scarf".

5. No one will give up a chance to make a dick joke. Not even the queen. Especially not the queen.

6. Young English men are connected to the fae in that knowing their real name gives you unholy power over them. Therefore I assume Sherlock went by "Shaz" in his youth. Likewise you are likely to meet at least two baz's, a full score of Alex' and more Dave's that you thought men in the queendom.

7. Black cab drivers are tired men and women who are constantly balancing the energy to care VS the energy to deal with your shit.

8. No way could they have afforded that flat on a military pension and whatever consultant fee Sherlock pissed up that week. I paid 850 for a loft room in a house.

9. Pigeons. Everywhere. Even inside.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

@CorvusRobotica wasnt it implied that sherlock’s family is wealthy? I always assumed his parents owned the place and he just wanted a roommate because he was lonely

@CorvusRobotica oh yeah right

i guess i’m more influenced by the original cannon where he didn’t

@sophia I once found a pigeon in my bathtub after a night of not sleeping because I didn't have any coins to put on the gasmeter and it was freezing, I think it was the moment I realised what London was.

@CorvusRobotica Some friends and I used to use 'filing cabinet in a field' as a kind of punchline to a lot of things that didn't make sense, took a while for us to realise seeing that regularly was an experience limited to London. No one outside of it ever knew what we were talking about

@CorvusRobotica never been to London but I just want to stress that point #2 is an understatement if anything.

Foxes sound like ongoing war crimes at night and they do it in the human vocal range.

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