PSA: do not tell me I am valid
I do not need nor want your validation and quite frankly I find the underlying assumption of my insecurity that such a statement requires to be insulting.
@InspectorCaracal *nods* yeah, that's val-
wait. wait shit FUCK
(p.s. yes this joke is Extremely Stupid)
@wigglytuffitout I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO DO THIS
I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN
@InspectorCaracal I, OTOH, am insecure enough to need validation and cynical enough that validation from a stranger, or , worse, BLANKET validation
("you, hey you, yeah, you reading this? You're valid.")
makes me feel either trivialized or .... even more invalid.
@aldersprig i mean, this is not directly aimed at you, but yes, the point here is that everyone is different and you can't just talk to everyone like they're you
@InspectorCaracal That was like the hardest lesson of my 30s and I keep learning it.
ON angry days I call it "the golden rule is bullshit."
@aldersprig the golden rule is accurate, people just get hung up on specific details and miss the underlying message
@aldersprig for example: I treat everyone the way I wish to be treated, which means that I take into consideration their personal preferences and respect their boundaries
oh that is the most relatable tbh.
those random "good vibes" sort of messages that were in vogue to write on bathroom mirrors or whatever for a while? always made me feel worse. like "you don't know me, i can't believe that"
but also if i am ignored in a group setting i immediately get super sad even if it's a group of people i don't know that well
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