I'm really enjoying that posts here are called toots. It's a Scottish pet name for young kids, especially girls. My Grandma used to call me it all the time. "Are you aright, toots?" I'd totally forgotten about that until joining up here.
Oh my goodness, Janelle Monae! This is her new emotion picture - Dirty Computer. It's absolutely fabulous and everyone should see it, especially my fellow space bisexuals on here. Pretty sure my mouth was hanging open for the entire thing.
Hey tootplanet! Long time no see, how've you all been?
Mental Health, Bodily Functions Show more
I've been on SSRIs for a wee while now. Week one felt awesome, week two was crippling insomnia, and week three is turning out to be a diarrhea extravaganza.
But barring a couple of days, I have experienced little to no anxiety during this time. Even with the restless nights and endless poos, this feels better. It's really put into perspective how bad my mental health had gotten.
Hopefully the side effects subside soon and I can just enjoy this new peacefulness.
I've been on SSRIs for a few days now. I was told they can take a while to kick in but I noticed a big difference from day one. Don't know if I'm just placeboing or elated with the relief of finally dealing with this. Hiding and ignoring my anxiety had been a bigger strain on me than I realised.
The air around me has oxygen in it again! I keep taking deep breaths and marvelling at how delicious and nourishing they are. I can feel the ground beneath my feet. My mind is quiet. It's so peaceful.
The doctor phoned me back already, and I have an appointment for Tuesday.
I'm shaking, but I did it! Hopefully this is a step towards me becoming a healthier and better functioning human.
A lot of things came together to finally make this the right time for me to start looking for help, but the Mastodon community certainly played a role there. Hearing people discuss mental health so openly and being so supportive of each other here has been so helpful.
Thank you, everyone.
I don't usually bother with resolutions, but this year I'm determined to start taking my mental health more seriously. I want to finally address the probable anxiety I've been doing my best to ignore for years.
I couldn't get out of bed until midday stressing about phoning a mental health clinic and trying to make an appointment in Japanese, but I did it, and now I just have to wait for the English speaking doctor to phone me back.
Now to reward myself by playing video games until I pass out!
"Miss foreigner! Hello!"
"Where are you from?"
"What is a Scotland?"
"England. I'm from England."
"Oh! Harry Potter! Peter Rabbit!"
A recent Japanese conversation. A lot of my conversations with strangers here follow a similar pattern. If I have time, I'll always use it to explain the weird structure of the UK, of course.
Returning to Work - Initial Impressions
Wearing a bra sucks.
New self care method discovered;
Make an account on the Star Wars MMO (The Old Republic) and smash all the computer generated enemies in the face with a lightsaber. I have literally been doing nothing but that for about a week, and my goodness I needed it.
I'm back at work today and hoping to be more active on here again. I hope the rest of you survived the festive period too, and are managing to settle back into the old routines.
I'm back home safe now, and my husband's sorted me out with a cup of tea and a big bowl of veggie pasta. Legend.
My head was in bits making my way home alone via three trains and a taxi, but I made it, and no one around me saw anything other than just another passenger.
Always be kind to the people around you. You never know what kind of day they're having, or what baggage they're really carrying with them.
Sexual Assault Show more
So for me 2018 has started with me being sexually assaulted by a family member. I'm sharing this to affirm to myself 'out loud' that it was real, it happened, it was not my fault, and I am a strong person who will survive this.
And anyone else out there going through something similar - you are too.
My wee sister stayed at mines the night before Christmas, so I had to organise and deal with Santa's snack for the first time. We decided to welcome him to Japan by leaving him some cookies and pocky on a Hello Kitty plate.
Today I triumphed in a great victory over my brain. Today, I ate some granola at my desk at work.
This may sound trivial, but if I don't have time to eat breakfast before work, I usually skip it, or hide in the toilets to eat it because my brain had convinced me that the sound of crunching food would send my coworkers into a blind rage, resulting in my inevitable death.
Today, I took back control of my basic nutritional requirements. And it felt good.