Zoe Queenrose @zoe@tootplanet.space
Bartender. Rabbit. Not putting up with your shit.
(in-character, fursona of @squirrel)
Oh yeah we do take fake IDs. We take them, mock every misaligned number in it, and then put it through the shredder we keep under the register specifically for that purpose. Then we offer the kid a soda, cause we ain't heartless.
Whenever a whole gang would storm the bar, we'd just turn on the sprinkler system. Except the sprinkler system has pepper spray in it. All the regulars get complimentary gas masks.
Don't hit on the bartender.
Unless you're a girl. And have a motorcycle. Maybe.
At our bar we have that "angel shot" secret drink that girls should ask for if they're feeling unsafe. If you ask for it "on the rocks", our bouncer will suplex the guy out of the bar.
If I had a dollar for every person who came into the bar surprised that a "small bunny" is the bartender, I'd have way more than I make in tips.
I charge more for the drinks if you give me trouble. Sorry, I do make the rules.
A customer at the bar today called me the Easter Bunny. The hot sauce in his drink made him stop laughing.
